I’ve studied psychology and martial arts for over 40 years, and will always be a student of these disciplines. Psychology, like most other fields, continues to evolve over the years. The concepts of positive psychology integrated with other client centered techniques is what coaching is all about. Each person has their own core values and experiences that sets the foundation for a fulfilling life.
My main philosophy to achieve success and happiness is to help you find your Zone of Optimal Functioning. The key to getting into the “ZONE” is to consider your degrees of reason. This scale of reasonableness is not only a logical scale, but one that considers intuition as well as spirituality. This concept is understandable when you recognize that the subconscious, or right brain, has a reason all its own that is usually not in the awareness of the left brain, or ego. That’s why it’s called the subconscious, of course. But the resources of the right brain are available to everyone with a little practice.
Left-brain thinking is considered logical, rational, and linear. Right-brain thinking is considered intuitive, creative, and holistic. There is much overlap, but these distinctions are helpful to understand our thoughts and feelings. Left-brain thinking, using higher cortical areas, is necessary to do math, remember names, balance your checkbook, collect data, and a million other important things. But after years of practice, the left-brain (ego) does not want to let go, and many of us forget that our passions are in the right-brain, or lower cortical areas. Many times a person cannot decide between two options. These may be very important financial decisions, or something more mundane such as what clothes to wear. The conflict is often expressed in this basic way, “Should I go exercise or keep working?” or, “Why did I just eat that!” This is the left-brain arguing with itself.This dialectical thinking is necessary for a person to consider all options, but it can get out of control without right-brain integration in one’s reasoning. When the right-brain steps in with a little passion, the decision often becomes clear. There are many ways to access the resources of your right-brain; meditate, walk around the block, jog, play or listen to music, dance, paint, sculpt, go to a party, stand on your head. Let go of trying to control. See what intuitions emerge! Notice how you feel.
When you see the same person, year after year, expressing the same negative personality traits or habits, it’s easy to assume that these behaviors are “hard wired” into this person’s character; biologic, genetic, or learned behavior that is so rigid that it cannot be changed. In some cases, and to some degree, that’s true. But also, to a large degree it’s not true. Just as likely, this person doesn’t have any paradigm to help make personal changes, and common sense or direct confrontation rarely bring about any lasting change. A person might roll his eyes and say, “That’s just how he is. I don’t think he’ll ever change!” Without a strategy, a plan, a proven concept to apply, change seems impossible, especially when the person with the “problem” character doesn’t want any change, or is oblivious to the issues that others see as obvious. Many people are too rigid to ever change because of a harsh, fearful, or unchanging environment, or mental illness. But often, this stagnation gets a little old. Life keeps changing. And with some motivation, a wish, a dream, something he or she wants, new directions in thoughts and feelings are not only possible, but inevitable. This is because a positive attribute, strength, or core value is necessary for this person to apply to reach the goal. When these positive attributes are acknowledged, brought into conscious awareness, the person has taken a step towards self-efficacy, personal awareness, or possibly a small step towards enlightenment.
The beauty of coaching is that I don’t deal with trying to change anyone. When someone contacts me it’s all about a goal they want to find, design, or reach. I collaborate with you to bring out your positive attributes, your core values and strengths that have helped you in the past. Everyone has some positive traits, motivations, loves, something to live for. These traits, abilities, or simply good feelings often get overridden by all the stresses life throws in our way. When your positive traits or values are brought to light, they can give you the energy, the motivation, to envision a goal. Designing a plan to reach this goal would be the next step in our coaching sessions. Then we move towards actualizing your dream, the goals that brought you to me in the first place. Goals are dreams with deadlines.
The hope, in my philosophy, is that when you find your Bliss (using Joseph Campbell’s term) this will give you the energy to do the things that make you happy and successful. Spend your time in this life doing what you really want to do. Arrange positive relationships and positive environments to help keep you in your “ZONE,” and maybe there won’t be enough energy left to feed those bad traits, habits, or other issues that may just fade away.
Thank you for visiting!